


Terminal

by TooLateToFall



Series: Space Parents [8]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Pre andromeda, Ryder parents - Freeform, spoiler free
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 13:10:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10967925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooLateToFall/pseuds/TooLateToFall
Summary: Alec and Ellen struggle after her diagnosis.Takes place pre-andromeda, spoiler-free.





	Terminal

**Author's Note:**

> Done as a request on tumblr, for an anon who prompted, "Alec comes home after the awful meeting with the Alliance about SAM and knowing that Ellen is terminal... How does he apologize for all those years of prioritizing work over her and the kids? Does she forgive him immediately, or does it take time?"

When he comes home that evening, everything seems normal. The kids must not know; they sit on the couch, playing Blasto, arguing about who has to play as Bubin. So far, Scott seems to be losing. 

Alec pauses in the doorway, not sure what to say, taken aback by the normalcy of it all. After a minute, he realizes the kids (well, he thinks kids, but they’re really teenagers; scary, that) have stopped arguing and are staring at him. He coughs loudly, scrambling for something to say. “Have you guys finished your homework?”

Scott rolls his eyes, turns his attention back to the screen. “It’s Saturday, dad.”

“Right. Yeah.” He shuffles in the doorway a moment, uneasy. “Where’s your mother?”

“She said she wasn’t feeling well, so she’s taking a nap,” Sara replies, turning back to the display as Scott starts the game. “We’re all on our own for dinner.” 

Alec nods, though neither kid is paying attention, and he really doesn’t give a shit about dinner. _They really have no idea._ It could almost all have been a dream. 

Almost.

He passes through the living room to their bedroom, then pauses at the door. Something suspiciously close to dread (maybe even fear) pools in his gut, but he pushes the door open anyway. 

Ellen’s in bed, back to him, bundled up in a small mountain of blankets. She doesn’t move when he enters, and for a moment he thinks she might be asleep. Then she speaks. “You’re home early.”

Her voice is flat. Tired. Maybe a little bit aggressive. When Ellen rolls onto her other side to look at him, her expression is as empty as her voice. Its terrifying. 

Alec ignores her anger and sinks onto the bed slowly, watching her carefully like she’s a hostile target, not his wife. “You didn’t tell the kids.”

“No.” He waits for her to elaborate, but she doesn’t. Just stares at him, unblinking, gaze hard. (One of their friends likes to refer to this as ‘pulling an Alec’; he’d find it more amusing if it wasn’t directed at him.) After a moment, she sighs, voice quiet now, less aggressive. “I don’t know what  to say to them. I was hoping we…” She loses her words then, turning away, puling the blankets tighter about her. 

 _She wanted to tell them together._ He mulls this over in his head. He should be there to tell them, or to support her. He should be there, period. 

But he’s never there. 

Guilt surges through him, filling him from head to toe. “Ellen, I-”

“Alec, I’m tired, can we not do this right now?”  

He’d agree to put it off, but he always puts it off, he always puts them off, their family off, and now he’s not sure how much time is left. 

Alec lays down beside her, places a hand on her shoulder, which she shrugs off. “Ellen, please.” Her shoulders are trembling. He knows if she turned back to him now, there’d be tears in her eyes. “I-” 

The words get caught in his throat, like they always do. He doesn’t know how to say it, how to make years of distance and avoidance and never being there be okay, if he even can make it okay. He doesn't know how, but not trying isn't an option, so he takes a breath and presses on. 

“- I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

Ellen turns back to him, and sure enough, tears are trailing down her cheeks. It kills him. His hands reach up to cup her cheeks, brush away the tears. 

“I’m sorry,” his whispers, over and over again, like a mantra, “I’m so sorry.” 

“I missed you so much.” Her words come out choked with tears. 

His arms snake around her, pull her tight against his chest through the piles of blankets. “I know. I know, I’m so sorry.”

“I-…I don’t want to die…” The words are muffled by his chest. 

He pulls her closer, cards his fingers through her hair, slow and soothing. “I know, Ellen. Don’t worry, we can figure this out.”

At the time, he actually believes it. They both do. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed. :) If you have feedback or another prompt, I'd love to get it! My tumblr is TooLateToFall.  
> I'm really trying to improve my writing, so every little bit helps. Thanks lovely! <3


End file.
